Frugal Moms

Hello.  Since we last spoke, I have had a child!  He is 3 months old now.  He was born 4-9.  With the birth of a new child, the urge to spend is soooo great.  I was tempted to buy tons of things before he ever came out!  When he did arrive, I had new outfits I had sewn for him ready to go.  Just one very big problem, my son was premature and was so tiny he couldn’t fit a thing!  (and still doesn’t)  I did have to break down and buy him premie clothes.  There were none at the second hand store.  I bought only 2 outfits off the clearance rack.  I felt a tinge of guilt buying just these two, because I knew he would grow out of them much too soon to justify their pruchase.

Then grandma came to the rescue.  When she found out her grandson had only 2 outfits that actually fit, she went on a shopping spree.  (No I didn’t ask and I assured her he would grow out of it soon so shopping was probably not a good idea.)  She did take into  consideration the fact he would grow.  She bought several different sizes all the way to 12 months.

Also, with this baby I had cloth diapers all set to go, but then when he was so small…none of the covers fit!  In fact they still don’t.  (Premies are expensive!)  So yes, we bought regular premie diapers.  I was very disappointed when I found he wouldn’t fit a thing I had prepared.  Then to top it off, he couldn’t breastfeed because he was too weak.  I really thought about this, and knew I could still breast feed.  I have a Medella pump in style electric breast pump from my previous children.  It cost a total of $200, which may seem like a lot, but…. with just one child it saved it’s own purchase price with in 3 months.  I have used it for 4 children.  Now THAT is how you save money my dear!

The hospital had one as well, so my little one drank hospital provided formula for the first 48 hours until milk came in.  Then I pumped my milk out and fed it to him in a special premie nipple.   We have been doing this since his birth.  We have to be careful when he eats to ensure he is in the right position, which is sitting up, to make sure he doesn’t spit all his food back up.

One of the best things I did before he was born was to sign up for the baby gift registry at Amazon.com.  I sent an email to all my friends explaining that this child would need some things to help him out.  One of those things was new parts for the Medela pump in style.  My friends were all very kind and helped out a whole bunch.  My son ended up with a new bed, a complete feeding set, clothes, and more.  I had never had a baby registry before and was pleasantly surprised at the ease and effectiveness of using one.

I am going to make some predictions.

1.  More jobs will continue to be lost until mid-May.   By May things will either get better or much worse.

2. Gold will be high.  I am not expecting 1600 or 2k like some commenters, but the highs of 2008 are likely to occur again.

3.  Food stamps will become a staple for getting food for more than 40% of American families, and consequentally will be a budget problem eventually.

4.  Luxuries will remain “not desirable”.  So if you are in the luxury business, add another line.

5.  Foreclosures will suddenly increase at the end of 2009 unless government intervention occurs.

6.  Sewing will become “IN” again.  That is “remaking” clothes.

7.  Beans and Rice in bulk will be seen as staples for America’s diet.  Steak is so yesterday, except for rare treats like an Anniversary.  Also expect potatoes, macaroni, tomato sauce, and PB and J’s to sell well.

8.  Back to school shopping, will start to involve second hand stores for clothes.  For the poor it will be patching up hand me downs.

9.  Children will learn to be thankful for the awesome stuff you give on holidays…at least a little more.

10.  Every teen having their own cell phone with text messages, will be drastically cut back.  Expect prepaids for Emergencies only to be the thing parents do.

11.  Shoe cobblers will find their business increase

12.  Parents will start to pressure schools to remain open during holidays and possible weekends so kids can have free school lunch.  (urban areas)

13. Libraries will cut back hours or raise late fee fines just as more patrons come in due to budget cut backs.

14.  Food staples will rise in price.

15.  Treasuries will be sold off by other countries, causing our dollar’s value to dip.  How much is anyone’s guess.

16.  Gas prices will rise again.  As this happens, more inflationary pressures will occur.

17.  Towns and states will start laying off even more workers.  The problems in California will hit Georgia, New York, Rhode Island, and various other states.  At least 10 states will have to lay off drastically.

18.  Court houses may shut down for longer furloughs on holidays, or not open for weeks at a time.

19.  Crime is headed up, but not way up.

20.  Gardening will become a new passion as people looking into new “Victory Gardens”.

These are just best guesses.  I am not a financial advisor.  I am a mom of 5 soon to be 6.  I pay attention to the stock market and economic trends.  I have a little economics under my belt from college, but no where near enough to be a professional.  Good luck everyone.

May be Santa will be coming, but he may have a lighter load for your family this year.  In my family the load will be a lot lighter.  How does a parent deal with a Frugal Christmas/Yule?  Some parents are so desperate for something they will give anything, and if you ARE one of those parents… I have a couple ideas for you.  However, if your not and your worried about Jr. being disappointed when Santa gives only one or two practical presents this year.  It’s a common problem.  Depending on the age of Jr. an explanation might be in order.

In reality, all parents worry about their kids and what we give?  Will they like it? Will it be enough?  In my house we have gift giving rules.  Most presents will be hand made and we will only guarentee ONE present for each child.  That’s it.  Generally speaking that one present will contain one small toy, one article (or outfit) of clothing, and one book or other art item.  There is sometimes home made cookies, candies, and what not…but not always.

Having rules like this stems the “awe…” effect or the temper tamtrums when Suzie didn’t get the Wii she wanted.  Although we have this rule, as a whole my children usually make out okay.  They have uncles, aunts, and distant family which send a gift a piece as well.  This may not happen this year, but none the less, one gift is better than no gift.

I admit my kids can be disappointed, but not always.  I am only disappointed when I can’t get them the things they NEED, like new boots for the winter.  This doesn’t happen often, but the one time it has, the cousin’s closets were a thankful offer.   We use a very important hand me down system.  This is exactly why getting a new outfit for Christmas/Yule is so great for the kids.  They get to wear something FIRST.  No second hands, no hand me down, no…it’s new.  Sometimes tailor made by mom just for them complete with their favorite color, bows, flowers, or puppies on it.  True, they will have to “pass it on” after they grow out of it but, they try to make it last by adding lace, fixing buttons, or cutting off feetsies on sleepers…just to hold onto that treasured gift.

Tomorrow I will tell you how to get a gift for your child, if you have nothing you can buy for them.

While cruising through other frugal blogs, I am hearing a desperation I have never heard before in the comments.  People talk about not being able to fill their oil tank but once a winter and having it only last 3 months, when winter lasts twice as long.  I have heard of mothers and fathers huddled with their children in front of the parlor wood stove with curtains draped on every door way  to keep warm at night.  This is from people living in nice suburban homes with relatively well paying, or some would, think jobs.  I’ll be honest, this kind of poverty being seen on such a wide spread basis is frightening.  I’m only 28, but I have never seen anything like this.

If this is how the middle class is doing, imagine how the poor are doing.  You can thank those comments for the ideas presented here.  Most I did not come up with.  I am not about to say I did.  In my family we have put plastic on the windows, and consolidated our sleeping space to the front room where our wood stove is, but only on the coldest nights of the year.

Some have placed quilts over their windows to block out the winter cold.  This is supposed to work especially well with poor windows.  I should have tried this years ago.  Another family described rationing heat, putting heat on at the absolute coldest parts of the night only and limiting it to 58 to 60 some odd degrees.  This seems sensible but a bit cool.  I suppose with enough blankets and squeezing two kids to a bed this would be perfectly fine. As we don’t have a heating system where we can set the tempature (exactly) I can’t tell you how well it will save in the monetary department.

Still other families are shutting up whole rooms of their house that are used less frequently.  One of these could be a bath room, if you use a space heater for the times you do use it to shower/bathe.  In our house, the bath room is always cold because it is far from the wood stove.  We use a small electric heater to warm it for baths.

Of course sweaters, socks, slippers, quilts, and shaws are all popualr remedies for the cold.  However, did anyone think of eating more soup?  A filling inexpensive meal that warms you to the bones.  Nothing is so good as a bowl of veggie chicken soup when coming in from the snow, except when it is homemade.  It’s lighter in calories many times too.  On the very coldest days I make chicken soup in my crock pot for the kids to sip on all day.

Then off course some people use their ovens to heat.  This is an awful waste if you ask me. If you are baking enough muffins for the whole week fine, but don’t leave the thing on and open to stay warm.  your electric bill will be awful.  Then there is recycling the hot dryer air.  I’m on the fence about this.  I don’t see the benefits.  What ever you do…if you are freezing cold… huddling together will help share body heat… a nice perk of being married.  : )

If you have animals, bedding can be another expense.  Earlier this year we paid about 20 dollars for enough wood chips to fill our coop.  This was cheaper than buying the bales of straw for 4.99 each and needing to haul them 2 at a time for a total of 6 bales.  Still, I plan to do one better.  I will be using HAY that I have growing wild in my back yard.  It’s already dry and just needs to be cut down.

This is where a little creative genius comes in.  I have no hay cutting impliments… as of yet.  I do however have a glaive.  I hope to have enough “mowed” down to fill the chicken shed and make a proper warm sleeping area.  I love the chickens, but they are expensive to raise the conventional way.  Selling eggs just BARELY makes any profit, and that is only because the kids customers pay a premium.

Being that we live “out on the range” so to speak, we must keep animal feed costs to a low amount.  We have chickens, dogs, a mouse, and now a goat.  The chickens give us eggs.  We are planning to grow dent corn for their main feed this year, with oyster shell as an additive, and bugs/grass seed to fill the gaps.  Our dogs eat all scraps after I have put them through the ringer.  Usually their isn’t much left so we usually have to supplement dog food.  Dogs are also great for left overs that have been in the fridge too long.  Our goat is a beauty and she eats grass like no tomorrow.  That’s why I call her my little lawn mower.  However we plan to supplement with some garden waste, alfalfa hay which is very inexpensive, and a salt mineral lick.

Most people don’t understand why we have all these animals.  Chickens give egss and meat.  The dogs protect the chickens and goat.  The goat will give milk and meat.  The mouse?  He eats scraps and will soon be let loose far away from our home.  He is wild after all.  I just couldn’t bring myself to kill a poor inoncent baby mouse.   He really doesn’t have a purpose in our hosue except to be a theif.  He will probably be let loose as soon as he can survive on his own.

This past month I had a proposition from my neighbor, he would trade his cut wood for my messed up barely working lawn mower. To be honest, the mower worked fine, it just couldn’t hold a charge to save it’s life. I tried everything too. For a while I put him off, saying we needed the lawn mower. He is a persistent man though, so shortly after yet another financial bombshell fell on us, he asked again. I agreed. He could have my riding lawn mower for 5.5 ricks of wood. (Translation 1.33 cords of wood or about $225 dollars worth of wood) To me it seemed like a good deal for both of us. He got a riding lawn mower that matched his old one exactly for a fraction of what it cost me 5 years ago. I got a years worth of wood.

Then it quickly occurred to me, how would I ever keep my grass down. Fate stepped in again. With in 48 hours a man knocked on my door early in the morning, asking if I would sell my scooter. I explained no I couldn’t. Then he asked if I would sell my chicken hut, again I declined. I mentioned I wish I had a nanny goat to mow down the weeds and provide milk as I just traded my mower for a pile of wood. The man told me how his daughter had a wonderful milker I could have. A deal was made, $100 dollars for the goat. I had to wait one week for the money to come in, but after that I paid the $100 dollars. Now we have a new addition to the family named Sally. She has airplane ears and is sweet, but skittish. I will have to mate her to get milk, but she already is getting the grass taken care of.

As I discussed before, a simple kidney stone can cost 5 grand.  Having a baby can total over 10 grand.  If you live in Arkansas some costs can be mitigated.  The Health Department offers free immunizations, free communicable disease testing, free contraceptives, free OBGYN appointments until the 40th week. If you live in another state, I suggest you check out your department of health and see what is available to you .

The Department of Health can be a valuable asset for families that are struggling to make ends meet. For example; in Arkansas they also handle WIC, which gives out food vouchers to pregnant women and children. Young men and women can have all of their reproductive needs cared for 100%. Babies can be immunized against childhood diseases. Pregnant women can have basic prenatal care to ensure healthy children are born. Often times the Department of Health can give referals to doctors or other providers for special needs. The Department of Health in Arkansas can even fill out a medicaid application for you.

This Thursday, in the middle of the afternoon, right before my shift, I had an extreme intense pain in my side.  This pain came from my kidneys.  In little more than a couple minutes the pain intensified to a point of screaming. I tried walking, sitting, going to the rest room, laying down, taking OTC pain pills, and more. Nothing worked.

I knew that this pain could only be one thing… a kidney stone. After about an hour of this, I knew it would only get worse. Did it ever? My husband franticly asked, “Should I call an ambulance?” He paced. He tried to help me get comfortable. He looked in our medicine cabinet for ANYTHING stronger than a tylenol. I kept saying, “No. It’s a kidney stone. All they can do is sedate me and watch to see if it gets worse.” How did I know it was a kidney stone? My urine was blood tinged immediately after the pain started and the pain progressively got worse. Plus, it wasn’t near my appendix and unfortunately I went through this once before.

The last time I rushed to the ER thinking it was appendicitous, or worse me losing my baby. They poked and prodded. They took X-rays and ultra sounds. They never found more than a grain of sand in my kidney. Then they ordered strong pain relief and watched me for the next 2 days. It cost me over 5 grand to take strong pain meds and sit in a bed for 48 hours. I passed a grain of sand and felt better. The doctor released me with some pain medicines and antibiotics.

This time would be different. I laid in bed thinking about 5 grand being almost a third of our annual income now. My husband has been laid off and I work part-time. I have a business, but business has been so slow since September, it’s hardly worth mentioning. Our main income is my meager part-time pay. As the pain intensified my will grew weaker. “Honey, just have Josh drive me to the hospital.” I knew an ambulance would be another grand I couldn’t afford.

My husband called. Josh was on his way, but wouldn’t be here for another hour. I had been in pain for over 6 hours now. I was crying and writhing. My husband found a muscle relaxor from when I was in the accident in June. He brought it in, “Is this still good?” He asked. I gasped yes. He handed me one, “Take it. Trust me it will help some.” It helped a lot. It knocked me out.

When I woke, it was an hour and a half later. Josh was no where to be found. I got up and went to the potty to urine. More blood and a grain of sand came out. The pain was more of a soreness. I could walk and talk like a normal human. I was wiped out however. Sleep was already trying to consume me as I tumbled back to bed. On the way my husband helped to guide me while I asked, “Where is Josh?”

My husband said he didn’t know, but looked relieved I was feeling better. “Tell him don’t worry about it.” “Are you sure?” My husband asked. I nodded as I laid down, sore and comfy in my bed. In minutes I was in dream land.

The next day I told my chat friend, let’s call her Sara, about what happened. She seemed amazed I made it through with out the help of a hospital or any major pain killers. My husband also seemed amazed. Everyone, that had experienced the pain of a kidney stone, seemed awed. To me it seemed like the smartest thing to do. It felt like 8 hours of intense induced labor, but if you think about it, I have gone through worse as a mother of 5. Now I that I think about it, I would be amazed if my husband was able to it too. That’s how I recently saved myself from a third of my income going out the window. I don’t advocate ANYONE doing what I did, as I could have been wrong and ended up dead, but I thought most you would enjoy this post.

My health is finally getting on track.  I have been on bed rest, orders from on high.  I am 12 weeks pregnant and the baby was under threat.  I promise to get things back under way soon.  I am now allowed to roam a bit if I promise to rest every hour again.  I hope all of you are doing well.  I am sorry for letting you down on your daily dose of frugal wisdom.  On a lighter note, may be now I will be able to focus on working again instead of worrying whether my baby is alive or not.  Nothing in life is so precious as life itself.  Not money nor power.  The past few weeks I have had to take a huge step back and look at what NEEDS to be done, versus what I would like to finish.  What was needed was for me to get my health on track, what I wanted was to forge ahead and make new waves.  (May be even win blog spot of the month)  Unfortunately that won’t happen now…may be later.

I promise to detail every painful part of trying to find a doctor and pay for all of it.  It has not been fun.  The discount card I have doesn’t have OBGYN.  I have searched high and low for help and have finally found it in the most unlikely place.  I will detail that for another day though.  From my heart to yours goodnight.